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February 2020: the LOVE Issue


A note from the author:

Happy Valentine’s Day. Forward this to your loved ones, and they will immediately be all over you. 

   ---The Authors

Sam’s love life:
      Sam has been in a wonderful relationship for two years now.

Jake’s love life:
      It's not quite the same as Sam's.

Sexy things to say to your beloved on this VDay:

“Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love.”



“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

-Judy Garland


“The best smell in the world is that man that you love.”

-Jennifer Aniston


“Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same.”

-Helen Keller

"You're hot."

-Sam Harris

Due to past lawsuits, we had to cite the people who said these quotes, but we suggest that you take credit when you say them to your hot date. 

Image result for love

Sam’s parents should go ahead and get divorced already. 

See if he cares...

Image result for love

A NEW Study on Love:

A new meta-analysis study conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue reveals falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain. Researchers, including Jake Schick and Sam Harris also found falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second.

Results from Ortigue's team revealed when a person falls in love, 12 areas of the brain work in tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The love feeling also affects sophisticated cognitive functions, such as mental representation, metaphors and body image.

The findings raise the question: "Does the heart fall in love, or the brain?"

"That's a tricky question always," says Ortigue. "I would say the brain, but the heart is also related because the complex concept of love is formed by both bottom-up and top-down processes from the brain to the heart and vice versa. For instance, activation in some parts of the brain can generate stimulations to the heart, butterflies in the stomach. Some symptoms we sometimes feel as a manifestation of the heart may sometimes be coming from the brain."

Ortigue is an assistant professor of psychology and an adjunct assistant professor of neurology, both in The College of Arts and Sciences at Syracuse University. Ortigue’s colleagues Jake & Sam also weighed in on the matter. 

“I take a lots of drugs,” Jake Schick says confidently. “It has helped with my romantic relationships immensely.” Ortigue fidgets around while Jake wipes his eyes before sneezing loudly. 

Other researchers also found blood levels of nerve growth factor, or NGF, also increased. Those levels were significantly higher in couples who had just fallen in love. This molecule involved plays an important role in the social chemistry of humans, or the phenomenon 'love at first sight.' "These results confirm love has a scientific basis," says Ortigue.

“To me, love means Dunkin’ Donuts,” says Sam Harris. Jake beams. “I eat there every morning at the crack of dawn.”

The findings have major implications for neuroscience and mental health research because when love doesn't work out, it can be a significant cause of emotional stress and depression. "It's another probe into the brain and into the mind of a patient," says Ortigue. "By understanding why they fall in love and why they are so heartbroken, they can use new therapies." By identifying the parts of the brain stimulated by love, doctors and therapists can better understand the pains of love-sick patients.

“The one time I fell in love I had butterflies in my stomach,” Jake says a little too loudly. His breath smells. “I had to have surgery to remove them one by one.”

The study also shows different parts of the brain fall for love. For example, unconditional love, such as that between a mother and a child, is sparked by the common and different brain areas, including the middle of the brain. Passionate love is sparked by the reward part of the brain, and also associative cognitive brain areas that have higher-order cognitive functions, such as body image.

“I love my body,” whispers Sam. His girlfriend nods. 

Ortigue, Jake, and Sam worked with a team from West Virginia University and a university hospital in Switzerland. The results of the study are published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. 

Ortigue worked on the love study with colleagues Francesco Bianchi-Demicheli (Geneva University Psychiatric Center, Switzerland), James Lewis (West Virginia University), Nisa Patel (graduate student in SU's College of Arts and Sciences) and Chris Frum (West Virginia University). Ortigue's follow-up study about the speed of love in the human brain is expected to be released soon.

Jake & Sam’s Romantic Excursion to BROADWAY!

Jake and Sam went to Broadway! They were excited! A musical! On Broadway! What could be better!

Due to copyright issues we cannot tell our fans what musical we saw, but here are some hints!

Look at the excitement!


“Where are we?”


“We’re on Broadway!”


After the play, we chowed down at Juniors, an American staple. Our taste buds were moved even more than we were by the evening’s performance. But the play was good, too. Jake thought the first song was lame, but aside from that they were impressed. 


“What’s inside?”


“Thanks, Broadway!”

Happy President’s Day!

Presidents Ranked by Date of Death:
Image result for jfk tomb

  1. George Washington

  2. Thomas Jefferson

  3. John Adams

  4. James Monroe

  5. James Madison

  6. William Henry Harrison

  7. Andrew Jackson

  8. John Quincy Adams

  9. James K. Polk

  10. Zachary Taylor

  11. John Tyler

  12. Martin Van Buren

  13. Abraham Lincoln

  14. James Buchanan

  15. Franklin Pierce

  16. Millard Fillmore

  17. Andrew Johnson

  18. James A. Garfield

  19. Ulysses S. Grant

  20. Chester A. Arthur

  21. Rutherford B. Hayes

  22. Benjamin Harrison

  23. William McKinley

  24. Grover Cleveland

  25. Theodore Roosevelt

  26. Warren G. Hardin

  27. Woodrow Wilson

  28. William Howard Taft

  29. Calvin Coolidge

  30. Franklin D. Roosevelt

  31. John F. Kennedy

  32. Herbert Hoover

  33. Dwight D. Eisenhower

  34. Harry Truman

  35. Lyndon B. Johnson

  36. Richard Nixon

  37. Ronald Reagan

  38. Gerald Ford

  39. George H. W. Bush

2020 Presidential Race Predictions by Jake and Sam

  1. Jill Stein

  2. Michael Bloomberg

  3. Gerald Ford

Buy a Bloomberg 2020 tote bag here


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Have a good day. Spend less time thinking about celebrities, more time learning how to knit. Stay strong. 

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