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Happy December!  OMG, how is it winter again?  We are holed up here on the mountain, battened down for the cold winds and the snow and the ice, and feeling quite cozy and safe. 
 
First, a recap of Thanksgiving.  Yes, Fritz makes Rhage two turkeys just for him.  One is cooked in the traditional way, in the oven, with cornbread stuffing and roasted potatoes in the pan.  The other is deep fried out in the garage.  Rhage eats both down to the bone.  There is nothing left, not even for soup stock!  Rhage also enjoys three pies with his name on them, literally.  He gets an apple, a pumpkin and a Boston creme.  He always eats the Boston creme first.  When I asked him why this year, he said it was because it was lighter and fluffier.  I’m not sure I see his point lololol   Oh, and this is every year that he gets the exact same thing.  He does this with holidays.  He has to have the same menu in the same order on the same platters and plates in the same seat at the table.  Why?  I don’t know. 
 
Not surprisingly, the only two people he is willing to share with are Bitty and his Mary.  He always offers them the first of whatever comes.  The meat, the mashed potatoes, the stuffing, the green bean casserole, the desserts.  And they always decline, taking from the buffet that everybody else in the household eats off of.  They enjoy his enjoyment of his special meals.  It’s a nice thing to see, that little family sitting together, his daughter on one side, his shellan on the other, everybody happy as they eat.
 
Which is kind of the best thing about holidays meals, isn’t it.
 
So, with Thanksgiving in our rear view, we are throwing ourselves head first into the Christmas season.  We have our tree up, and Bitty decorated the grand staircase with the help of Fritz and some doggen with garland and lights, and the stockings for everybody in the house are hung around the fireplace in the library- until, really, you can’t even see the hearth!  As you all know, not everyone is Christian in this household, but the kids love the Santa stuff so even among those who do not celebrate the holiday, it’s a fun time, and we make room for everybody’s traditions. 
 
P.S.,  Lassiter has promised not to get stuck in the chimney again this year.
 
We’ll see how that goes.  That is not a bet I am willing to take, however.
 
Anyway, at the moment, I’m wondering what in the hell to get Wrath.  We all open presents Christmas morning, and I want to put something under the tree for him from me.  He’s impossible to buy for.  For one, in spite of being King, he really doesn’t want anything.  He’s a simple male.  He has one wardrobe (leathers, muscle shirt- and yes, that one suit he bought for our date back at Darius’s house at the beginning of our relationship.)  He doesn’t drive because of his sight (not that I would buy him a new car anyway.)  He doesn’t watch TV (and not because of his sight.  He’s just not into “made up sh*t.”)  He works out down in the gym in the training center in the same set of Nike long shorts and muscle shirt (he has twenty-five pairs of those shorts and enough running shoes to sink a boat.)  He isn’t into artwork or sculpture.  He eats because he has to.  He’s not into music. 
 
I live with an ascetic. 
 
Here’s the truth.  The only two things he really wants is me and L.W.  And in my brain, what I’d like to give him is another child.  YES, I KNOW.  I am TOTALLY grateful for L.W.  I am lucky to have him.  But the truth is, every now and again, the fact that I can’t have another biological child hurts.  It doesn’t have anything to do with not loving my son.  It’s just sometimes, the thing we can’t have or can’t do becomes all the more significant for the very reason of its impossibility.  When my mind gets locked on the fact that I’m now infertile, I remind myself that Wrath doesn’t want anymore young- at least, that’s what he tells me.  I also tell myself that children aren’t just biological.  Look at Rhage and Mary and Bitty?  Bitty is their daughter.  End of.  The biology is the least important part of being a parent.
 
And yet I mourn.  For no good reason at all.  I picture how excited I’d feel to tell Wrath that after my needing, I’m pregnant.  I remember back when I was pregnant with L.W., Wrath rubbing my big, hard belly, the satisfaction he never voiced, not once, rolling off him as he smiled that little secret smile of his.  I imagine him holding a daughter in his big strong arms.  Or another son.  I imagine more chaos and diapers and late days, but also the first bath, the first smile, the first word, the first step...
 
New life.  That we created together. 
 
So yes, it’s hard not to feel less than sometimes.  To regret what I can’t do for Wrath, even though I’m doing it for the both of us.  But again, I just want to kick my own a$$ when I get in those moods.  I am so lucky on so many levels.  I shouldn’t b*tch about a thing.
 
Okay, now I’m embarrassed.  What we were we talking about?  Oh, right, presents.
 
I’ll let you know what I end up getting my hubs in next month’s newsletter.  L.W. is still too young to be aware of what’s going on, but I’m going to have him rub a crayon on a homemade card for his father, and honestly, that little boy sitting on his father’s lap is pretty much the best present in the world for Wrath.
 
Meanwhile, Wrath is asking me what I want- and I suppose I’m just as bad as he is.  I don’t really want anything, and I know that sounds like such pabulum.  But it’s the truth.  I guess my best gift is Last Meal on Christmas, everyone around the table in the dining room, the kids all playing with their new toys, the couples all in love and glowing, the food homecooked, the desserts waiting on the sideboards.  Laughter and happiness. 
 
That’s what I want.
 
And by the way, Happy New Year’s! 
 
May all the blessings flow your way during this most festive time.  And know that I am sending all love and hugs to you and yours from me and mine.
 
Until next month, Beth      

 
This month, in recognition of the holiday season, I am giving everyone a present!  (Yes, I’m kind of like Oprah was and Ellen is, I know- and I TOTALLY watch those shows, PS!)  Read below for your special gifty from me to you, and please enjoy what I have chosen for you- I hope I get it right!
 
Love you!  xxx Your Favorite Fallen Angel**
 
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries, I am getting you a podium!  You are a natural leader, with good intentions.  I want to provide you with an auditorium full of people to lead- I know you will take good care of them and send them in the right direction.  Perhaps volunteering for a nonprofit?  Toppling an authoritarian regime?  Conquering a new galaxy?  You are at your best when you are in charge and living large! (And given that you like to look good, too, how’s an unlimited Saks Fifth Avenue charge card sound?)
 
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You are always on the ground floor of any effort.  I am getting you the office of your dreams.  You have an unlimited budget at Staples to choose every pen and paper, every computer and laptop, each pad and lamp and chair and desk, to fit your industrious dreams!  Enjoy!
 
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
For you, dear Gemini, I am giving you a shopping spree.  I am releasing you into the Mall of America and letting you haul that sh*t!  Will you choose fashion?  Accessories?  Something more practical?  Or, knowing you, a bit of everything.  Spend knowing I am getting the bills and fill your boots with every whim!
 
Cancer (June 21- July 22)
Cancer, you always take care of others.  I am, therefore, getting you a spa month.  Not an afternoon, not a day, not even a week.  A whole MONTH of letting others take care of YOU!  Sit back and relish the pampering, sleeping in, the being cooked for, along with every massage or treatment you choose.  You deserve it!
 
Leo (July 23-August 22)
As the partygoer in chief, Leo, I am getting you the biggest, best New Year’s Eve celebration ever!  Invite all your friends and their friends and their friends’ friends, and dance your buns off at a gleaming, golden super-event in your honor!  You make all parties a night to remember- and this one’s on me!
 
Virgo (August 23- September 22)
A week off.  For you, Virgo, I am getting you a week off- and I hope that you will spend it enjoying a copious lack of effort.  I know, however, that most likely you will use the free time to reorganize your drawers and closets!  But still, perhaps a little relaxing will be on the docket?  You work so hard, and you meet so many high standards, it would be wonderful if you could just ease back for once!
 
Libra (September 23- October 22)
Given how important your friends and connections are to you, I would like to send you and your closest three buddies on an all expense paid trip anywhere in the world you want to go!  Think of the adventures you can have with your besties!  The new places you could visit!  Enjoy and make memories, dear Libra!
 
Scorpio (October 23- November 21)
Okay, so if I were really getting you a good gift, it would be a flamethrower.  Btu I’m a little afraid you would use it and stupid people everywhere would be in danger!  Instead, I would like to give you a set of darts and a Polaroid camera.  That way, you could take ‘em out in theory, not in actuality.  Oh, and I would also like to give you a brand new car of your choosing!  So you can drive away from idiots, leaving them in your rear view- and I’ll be in the backseat because the Brotherhood will have bound and gagged me, and thrown me back there.  *sigh*  Someday, those fools will love me!
 
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Sagittarius, you give the best advice to people.  I would like to provide you with a national platform for your wise words!  You are the kind of person who knows things that others should know- whether it’s a hack in the kitchen, a tip for travel, a review of a movie, I think you would be great running a newspaper (yes, I know, that’s an antiquated idea, but maybe we can have it be a social media account with 10 million followers?)  Let’s spread your good sense far and wide!
 
Capricorn (December 22- January 19)
Home is so important to you, Capricorn.  Therefore, I would give you a new house!  What would you like for your family?  More bathrooms?  A bigger yard?  A different neighborhood or a pool or a mancave in the basement?  It’s on me.  You are a family person, and you like your family to be happy.  Design your own or move into your dream house- it’s on me!
 
Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
As someone for whom justice is important, I would like you to go and start your own non-profit!  Who would you help?  How would you make a difference?  What kind of services would you provide?  Your heart is with humanity, Aquarius, and I would like to help you help others in this season of good will!
 
Pisces (February 19- March 20)
Around the world, Pisces! I am sending you around the world- with no itinerary at all!  Indulge your love of exploration and travel- at your own pace and at your whim.  You can go where the mood strikes and follow all veins of interest, expanding your horizon as you wish!  Ah, the freedom you crave is on me!
 
**Although really, how many of us do you know?  And PS, this is just for sh*ts and giggles, entertainment, blah, blah, blah.
Dear Vishous,

First of all, happy holidays.  I’m not sure what exactly you’ll be celebrating at the mansion, but I hope whatever it is, it is filled with love and friendship and good food.  Knowing Fritz, I’m sure the latter is covered perfectly!
 
And all this brings me to my question.  For as long as anyone in my family can remember, everybody has gathered at my mom and dad’s house for Christmas Eve dinner.  We have it early, like at 5, and the kids open their presents from the aunts and uncles and grandparents there.  (There are three married siblings and we have a total of five kids, under the age of ten.)
 
Over the past year, our youngest brother has fallen into a relationship and last month, they got engaged (at Thanksgiving dinner, which kind of took over the whole thing, which was fine, whatever.)  Honestly, my brother and sister and I never thought he’d get married.  He’s forty-two- and I might as well tell you that his intended is twenty-four.  In case math is not your thing (which, let’s face it, is unlikely,) that’s a difference of eighteen years.  Now, here’s the thing.  She doesn’t fit in with us- and before you get on me for discriminating against the younger generation, let me provide you with a concrete example of how difficult she is.  On Christmas Eve, she doesn’t want to eat at five.  She wants to eat at seven.  Why?  Because she wants to go on a “fun run” with her little buddies from her gym, and she is insisting on bringing my brother, who is not athletic in the slightest, with her.  For some reason, she feels entitled to demand that we reschedule the dinner to suit her- and the worst part?  My brother went to my mother and pressured her into agreeing to the time change without talking to anybody else about it.
 
This after we’ve done this dinner for the last decade at five.
 
Look, V, my parents are in their late seventies.  They just want everyone to be happy, and they have always accommodated our younger brother.  He’s been coddled his entire life, and lived with them, rent and utility free, until he was in his thirties.  They’re used to taking care of him- and the rest of us are sick of it.  The thing is, those of us with kids?  We don’t want a late night on Christmas Eve.  We want to get home and get the kids in bed so we can finish wrapping everything and get the presents under the tree- sometime before 2 am.  The thing is, we’re not rich people.  We work for a living, and we don’t have the luxury of always being ready and pretty with everything on time.  The holidays are hard on us and our spouses.  And to have all three of us and our husbands and wife and all of our children get put out because of this newcomer and her bright ideas?  It’s just too much.
 
I don’t know what to do, but I’ll tell you, I’m sick of this.  I’m sick of him.  I can’t stand her.  And I’m furious about being inconvenienced in this busy season- and I can’t believe that our parents rolled over once again for my brother’s antics.  It costs him and his “fiancée” nothing to just let all of us do our thing.  But nooooo, they have to screw everything up and put the rest of us out...
 
....any ideas you have.  Meanwhile, I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season.
 
Sincerely,
 
Had It In Seattle
 
#####################################
 
Vishous:  *takes a drag on handrolled*  I’m already lit up, and for real, I had to trim your letter, Had It.
 
Mary:  A very happy holidays to you, Had It, and your family.  And I think I’ll open this up with the fact that I’m sorry you’re having this difficulty.
 
V:  Meanwhile, I’m thinking it’s probably a fair fight between you and Miss Thang in the Lululemon.  *puts up hand*  And before you get on me, Mary, you should see what I edited out.  I have a feeling this is about more than the Night Before Christmas.
 
Mary:  I agree, but let’s not judge anybody too quickly.  This kind of frustration with family members is very common during the holidays.  You take everyone’s normal life stressors, add time and money concerns, children’s expectations, and a good measure of exhaustion, and things that have been building up over time tend to come to a head.
 
V:  Had It, I think you need to ask yourself why you’re writing in here, rather than just going directly to your parents and telling them that the timing doesn’t work for the majority of people coming, and therefore, you’re going to do the dinner when you always have and the brother and the floozy can come late.
 
Mary:  *rolls her eyes*  V.  We’re an advice column.  That’s why she’s writing us.  And please do not use that word in relation to the fiancée.  You don’t know her-
 
V:  You’re right, I’m sorry.
 
Mary:  OMG, did you just apologize for something?
 
V:  That fiancée’s with a guy almost two decades older than she is who previously lived with his parents.  She’s an idiot-
 
Mary:  Vishous!  That is not okay!
 
V:  Is there another word for someone whose picker is that bad?  Please let me know what it is.  And my point is that this is not that big a deal.  Look, Had It, if your parents are as easy going as you suggest, then get your other two siblings together, go to your parents, reset the time and tell your brother wassup.  Done and dusted.
 
Mary:  *presses the bridge of her nose and tries to breathe slowly*  But there’s a larger issue here.
 
V:  About the younger brother.  I know.  I just don’t think Had It wants to solve the problem.  She wants to bitch behind his back and get all thought up and then play the victim.  She’s part of this drama instead of the solution to it.
 
Mary:  You and I are so on opposite sides of this letter.  I don’t think Had It is enjoying any part of this at all.  I think she would choose for things to be different.  And she is blowing off steam, which is allowed.  The thing is, in certain family units, people can get locked into roles, and changing that dynamic can be hard.  I really believe that Had It needs to sit down with a therapist and talk through her feelings about her younger brother.  No doubt there are many moments in the past that she, and others, felt that her parents picked him over everybody else in the family.  After she gets some clarity there, she may want to go speak to him or to her parents.  Or maybe not.  Resetting the dinner time in this situation only takes care of the symptom.  It doesn’t get to the underlying problem.  For that, she needs to dive deep and go into the past.
 
V:  Oh, yeah, right, I wouldn’t know anything about piss poor family dynamics.  *shakes head*  And that’s my point.  Sometimes, among bloodlines, there is no dealing with that underlying problem.  No conversation that you can have with them.  No place to go with your problems.  When that’s the situation, you need to quit your bitchin’ and just get on with it- and when there is an opportunity to change things, fine.  Switch that dinner time.  Otherwise, you need to live your life and not worry so much about what the wingnuts are doing with theirs.  Let the sh*t go or it’ll eat you alive.
 
Mary:  I don’t disagree with that.  But it helps to talk it out.  That way, you don’t feel alone and unsupported.  And it doesn’t fester.  *stares at V pointedly*
 
V:  *shrugs*  In some relationships, we are alone and unsupported.  Get over it.  Let it go.  Move along.
 
Mary:  Had It, I think we’ve both said our peaces- pieces?- here.  I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season, and that you don’t let this overshadow what should be such a joyous time for everyone.  We wish you very well and let us know how it goes!  I really think you have a good justification to ask for the dinner to revert back to the normal time.  But please, talk to someone about this frustration of yours.  It’s not healthy to keep it inside.
 
V:  When in doubt, do you, Had It.  And let your brother find out the mistake he’s making in two years when that wifey leaves him for someone her own age who has a better job history.  Dollars to donuts, this marriage of theirs ain’t workin’ out.
 
Mary:  *smacks head*  So close... we were so close.  See you next month everyone! 

 
As many of you know, DIE HARD is my ultimate Christmas movie.  Bar none.  F*ck It’s a Wonderful Life.  Screw even Home Alone and Christmas Vacation (although both are staples.)  To me, it is not the holidays until Hans Gruber falls off Nakatomi Plaza.
 
So in the spirit of this season, please gather your young ones around, get your egg nog, and prop your feet up with me in front of the fire... and let us all enjoy one of the greatest movies of all time!  I’m not even going to do much of a preamble because at this point, if you don’t know the movie, I can’t help you with the sadness of where your life has gone.
 
And the sound of an airplane begins it all...

:52       “You don’t like flyin’, do you?”  It’s so cool how this one piece of advice impacts John McClane’s whole course with Hans Gruber and his men
2:26     Seeing Alan Rickman’s name in the opening credits makes me sad because we’ll never see him in another film again.  RIP, Mr. Rickman.
5:50     Argyle!!!!!!!!  My guy!!!!!!!!  I love Argyle.  “This car has everything.  CDs, CB, TV, VHS...”  So dating the film and I love it!
7:46     Christmas in Hollis!  RUN DMC!
11:10   It’s right about now that I start tracking the red and green notes in the background.  Red plants.  Green plants.  Red dresses.  Red tie.  Green dress.  I do this through the whole movie.
12:36  Douche alert!  God, that laugh lolololol oh, Ellis.  Your role is short and sweet in this movie and I do not hate this.
13:24   Reeeeeeunited and it feels sooooo goooooooooood.  Mr. and Mrs. McClane.
14:06   Ohohoohohoohohoh here we are with Gruber Transport!
16:56   And this is the last time that muscle shirt looks clean...
17:59   I love Theo.  I know I’m not supposed to, but come on, his RV line?
18:21   Godunov as a bad guy!
19:40   First shot of Hans, looking like a badass in that coat with his boys.  Best villain ever.
19:40   Lockdown.  We have lockdown people.
20:28   Love the music.  So ominous, yet Christmassy
21:06   Barefeet.  We have barefeet, people.
22:16  What I want to do to the cable lines every time Lassiter has the remote.  And please note how the chainsaw is a cheery Christmas red.
23:09   Okay, here’s when sh*t starts to get real.
24:59   “Ladies and gentlemen...” that voice with that accent.  OMG Hans is the best.  And he has a little black book, too.  Adorbs.
26:13   “...and father of five.” 
26:55   Butch’s favorite lines in the movie: “Nice suit.  John Phillips, London.  I have two myself.  Rumor has Arafat buys his there.”
28:01   “And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer... the benefits of a classical education.”
29:46   Bearer bonds, people.  It’s all about the portable cash equivalents.
31:18   I’m not going to lie, I hate when he kills Takagi.
35:26   Bing! elevator.  We are about to head into yippeekayaymotherf*cker!
36:22   “I promise I won’t hurt you...”  Yeah, right.
37:17   This is like me at work downtown!
38:25   Little feet McGee lololol  “I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister...”
39:15   Loving this!!!  Elevator magic!
40:20   Hans: “We are in charge...”  McClane:  “Hold my beer.”
40:57   Now I have a machine gun, Ho-ho-ho lololol
41:22   Poor Karl :(
41:58   This freaks me out every time!  Squash!
44:19   “Do I sound like I’m ordering a pizza!!!”
44:57   “Fine!  Report me!  Come the f*ck down here and arrest me!”
45:21   Mmmmmm Twinkies.  Now I’m hungry.
*pauses and calls Fritz**orders Hostess assortment*
49:28   I have always hated this scene.  Dangling by the gun strap.  F*ck.  And then the gun begins to bend.  I wouldn’t last five seconds hanging off that f*cker- heart beating hard. Jeez... I hate this!  How does he catch himself?  And now he’s lost the-
50:49   “Come out to the coast, we’ll get together... have a few laughs... now I know what a TV dinner feels like...”  LOLOLOL
52:53   OMG I feel so badly for the cop!  And ewww blood stain.
54:52   No matter how many times I see this movie, I’m still like... what’s going to happen?!?!
55:46   Good move with the back up coming in to shoot at John.  And now the table shooting... “Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don’t hesitate.”  “Thanks for the advice.”
56:36   Now, see, McClane’s muscle shirt is gray.  It’s not white at all.  They’ve switched it.
57:01   Bam!  Body!  “Welcome to the party, pal!”  Best line ever!
57:29   Argyle cam!
57:59   “Monica, I can get us a table...”  Douche #2 alert- this guy also plays the EP official in Ghostbusters.
*pauses**thanks Fritz for silver platter of Twinkies and other Hostess goodies*
59:17   “That’s very kind of you...”  “Who are you?”  “Just a fly in the anointment, Hans.  A monkey in the wrench.  A pain in the ass...”
1:00:27  “I was always kind of partial to Roy Rogers... I like those sequined shirts.”  “Do you really think you stand a chance against us?”  “Yippeekayay, motherf*cker...”  BEST
LINE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:01:41  Well, and “Eat it, Harvey,” isn’t bad, either lolololol
1:03:54  “Call me... Roy.” 
1:04:38  Deputy Chief Dewayne T. Robinson, Douche #3 
1:05:54  “Personally, I’d pass on the job.  I don’t like being this close to you.”
1:07:26  Argyle is now joining the party .
1:11:54  Oh, Theo... you are funny with the mouse-stirring report.
1:12:18  Al, you know it!  The lights.
1:13:00  “Wait, a minute, wait a minute, what do we have here gentleman?  The police have themselves an RV.” lolololol
1:15:06  “OMG, the quarterback is toast!”  LOLOLOLOL
1:16:33  Booooooooooom!  I love the pyrotechnics in this movie- before everybody got lazy with CGI.  Same with the stunts.
1:17:21  “Eat your heart out, Channel 5.”  lol
1:18:02  “Is the building on fire?”  “No, but it’s going to need a paintjob and a sh*tload of screen doors.” lololololol
1:18:34  “I’m not the one who just got butt f*cked on national TV, Dewayne...”
1:19:36  “Spreckenzie talk?”  Oh, Ellis... you frickin’ douchebag.
1:20:26  “You use a gun, I use a fountain pen... am I right?  Hans.  Bubby.  I’m your white knight.”  Look at those caps... on the teeth.
1:22:50  Ellis, shut up, Ellis... listen to McClane...
1:25:59  Preach, Al!  F*cking preach it, Al!!! 
1:27:09  “I read about them in Time...”  LOL, oh, Hans...
1:28:13  “It’s Christmas, Theo.  It is the time of miracles.  Be of good cheer...”
1:29:08  “Hostage terrorist, Terrorist Hostage... a study in duality...”  Shut it, Harvey.
1:29:41  “Want a breath mint?”  LOL “I’m Agent Johnson.  This is Special Agent Johnson.  No relation.”
1:31:20  Not a bad American accent, Hans.
1:34:42  Hah, ha, ha...no bullets.  I remember when I first saw this movie, I was like, John, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?  But I should have had more faith.
1:36:57  “Shoot the glass.”  This takes us all the way back to the first scene of John with the guy on the airplane.  It’s a great complication.  (PS, green EXIT sign.  Red computer lights.  Christmas cheer.)
1:40:15  I feel McClane, picking glass out of his feet.  Been there.  Done that.

1:41:57  “You asked for miracles, Theo, and I give you the F.B.I.”
1:45:27  “...we’ll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent...”  #squadgoals, Hans
1:53:01  “I am an exceptional thief, and since I am moving up to kidnapping, you should be a little more polite, Mrs. McClane.”
1:56:34  “I promise I will never even think about going up in a tall building ever again.”
1:57:26  Almost gets pulled out of the window!  Helicopter down!  Building blowing up! BTW, check out the Netflix The Movies That Made Us on Die Hard.  They explain about the stunts and how they did this shot.
1:57:57  “We’re going to need some extra FBI guys, I guess.”  Dewayne, this is the only
intelligent thing you’ve said all night.
1:59:29  Get ‘em, Argyle!  Good job!
2:00:22  And here comes John McClane, our hero.  Sometimes I feel like this at the end of the night. “If you steal $600, you can disappear.  If you steal $600 million, they will find you, unless they think you’re dead.”
2:01:56  Happy trails Hans...
2:02:17  Now, you know I love me a good Rolex.  But in this case, you have to lose the watch. And the way Hans falls!  That expression on his face.  It’s my Christmas card every year.
2:03:13  Talk about needing some screen doors... ohohoh, this is one of my favorite parts.
2:04:12  I am not tearing up.  YOU are tearing up right now.  It’s not me when Al and John finally see each other.  It’s you.  You’re doing this, you need the Kleenex.
2:05:36  Love the sound of that gun, Al.  Love it.  Atta boy Al!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2:06:20  Argyle! 
2:06:38  I love that Holly hits that reporter f*cker, soooo satisfying!
2:07:06  “If this is their idea of Christmas, I gotta see New Year’s.” 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s over, noooooooooooooooo!  OMG my favorite movie ever!
 
Well, in spite of my sugar high, I find myself feeling let down.  That is my favorite movie of all time.  It has everything.  Action, love, and the humor- remember the terrorist who is behind the glass case and gets distracted by the candy?  I forgot to put him in.  This film revolutionized the action genre and all kinds of movies came out afterward aping its vibe.  Cliffhanger, with Rambo, was Die Hard on a mountain.  Speed was Die Hard on a bus.  Speed II was Die Hard on a boat as was Under SiegeUnder Siege 2 was Die Hard on a train.  Independence Day is Die Hard with aliens.  And yes, I’m going to say it.  They don’t make ‘em like this anymore. 
 
Well, except for the Deadpool movies.
 
I’m going to sit here and watch Die Hard 2 next.  Now, I will say, nothing comes close to the original.  This is not an Empire Strikes back situation.  But number two is still a great movie, and that scene with John McClane hitting the ejector seat in the aircraft and spinning end over end, up into the air, as the plane blows up?  Come on.  Total Badassary.
 
Oh.  Look.  I’m out of Twinkies.  Think I’m going to switch to Milk Duds.
 
Anywho, until next month, I’m sending you love from the mansion’s movie theater- and please think of me when you watch Die Hard with your own family this festive season!
 
Rhage
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