Hi Fam,

Just want to send a quick note to apologize for this newsletter being a little late! I was finishing a new book for you at the end of June, so things were a little hectic. The book is officially turned in! And I can't wait to share more details with you soon but for now, let's get to July's mantra.
July's Mantra:

I am showing love for myself by taking the time to give myself the same amount of compassion I give others.

I was on the phone with my friend Margot the other day. If you are reading this and are in therapy, then you know that feeling when you’re fresh out of therapy and dying to call your best friend to tell them the revelation you just had. This was one of those calls.  Margot was updating me on some things going on with her family, and after listing through all that she was working through, she said,


 “And then my therapist said to me, you seem to be so good at having compassion for everyone in your life except yourself. And I was like, damn. You’re right. I have never once said to myself, 'wow, this is hard.' 'This is a lot for you to handle.'” 


We went on to talk about how startling it is that when it comes to the list of people to take care of in our lives, we are often last on our list... or we are not even on our list at all.


I haven’t met anyone who is particularly great at self-compassion. I also haven't met anyone who hasn't felt a complete sense of comfort when they have given themselves a moment of self-compassion.


We all create habits and rituals to help us move through our tough times. Whether it's calling a parent or mentor for consolation, an emergency call with your therapist (I had one of those on Monday afternoon!), asking your girlfriends to come over with a bottle of wine for a venting session, going for a run (as my friend Tracy calls it, an anxiety run), a long shower (the perfect place to cry, in my opinion), or, all of the above. 


Ask yourself,


“Have I taken the time to give myself compassion?"


“Have I taken a minute to acknowledge that I am having a hard time and ask myself what I can do to give myself care and comfort during this hard time?” 


Instead of say, “Ouch, this sucks. Is there anything I can do to help?”


Don’t skip the step of checking in on yourself. You deserve the same love and support that you give your friends and family members when they are going through a hard time. 


Learn to be there for yourself.

I love you.


With love,



P.S. If you are looking or more ideas on this, I highly recommend reading the book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Dr. Kristin Neff. I read it last summer while I was traveling, and it really helped me understand how to create space in my thought flow for moments of self-compassion when I needed them most.


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