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We’ve not written to you about this before, at least not this exactly.
This morning as we sat under the tree in our backyard and enjoyed Proverbs 15 and coffee we talked about the “opportunity cost” of having a marriage that you're not exactly proud of.
It feels risky to bring this up because we enjoy writing about things that our readers suggest or ask about. And no one has ever asked about this.
Proverbs 15:6 brough it to mind.
We spent well over 10 years glad we were married but not proud of our marriage.
It’s not like we fought and felt alone every single day, but it also wasn’t like having a close friend any single day.
During those years we never stopped to consider what it was costing our family to not live in a happy home. It’s painfully obvious now.
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A happy home is a success multiplier
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A happy home is a resource multiplier
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A happy home is a joy multiplier
Success Multiplier
Research on the effect of an unstable homelife on children is well known, but consider the financial impact of the difficult marriage on husband and wife as income earners.
“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to move out into the world in strength.”
Tim Keller in Meaning of Marriage
Resource Multiplier
Authors like Tim Ferris and others have made careers out of pointing out that no one really wants a million dollars in the bank, they want what that million dollars can afford.
The happy home is the more direct route to what the million dollars very often doesn’t deliver.
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord
than great treasure and trouble with it.
Proverbs 15:16
Joy Multiplier
Not all difficult marriages hinder people from work success, but they always hinder the joy associated with that success.
A man in his prime earning years once confessed to us about the impact of his difficult marriage:
I’m making more money than I ever dreamed. More money in a month than most people will make in a year. But I’m not happy. This was supposed to make me happy.
Proverbs expresses great sympathy:
Better is a dinner of herbs where love is
than a fattened ox and hatred with it.
Proverbs 15:17
Be kind and keep talking,
Brooke and Brian
P.S. - Unhappy homes are costly, but wisdom is free.
1. We are developing an ever expanding library of biblical marriage wisdom at our blog. We encourage you to read it and share it.
2. Get better friends. You can simply find a happy couple and try spend time around them. You'll likely not find a new best friend, but you'll learn a lot just by noticing the couples who encourage and enjoy each other.
3. Read your Bible. Simple reminders (like this email) to spend time in God's word are invaluable. Allow the Scripture to correct you. Let it change your thinking and you'll be so glad you did.
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