Proverbs 25:12

Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold 
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.


Our premise is that "Marriages predictable improve as people get healthy and become friends."


The subtext of that statement is that focusing on making your marriage better rarely makes a better marriage. 


That's why so many of the couples we work with come to us saying,

"We have tried everything to have a better marriage. Books, Bible studies, counseling, couples therapy, accountability groups, but nothing works."


We believe in and advocate all of those things, from marriage books to accountability groups, and we recommend several.


But here is the upside-down truth:

Couples who spend their time looking for the right marriage recipe often have never questioned the ingredients. And the main ingredient is you.




1. Have you developed the skill of saying the right words at the right time in a way that your spouse finds valuable?


A word fitly spoken 
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Please believe us.

It's not about what words you use.

It's about their "fit."

Fools don't worry about word-fit.

They say what comes to mind, how it comes to mind, when it comes to mind.

A fool gives full vent to his spirit,
but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 29:11



2. Have you learned to listen to your spouse's correction like someone opening a little blue box from Tiffany's?


Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold 
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
Proverbs 25:12


When your spouse comes to you with a critique are you able to listen and treasure it like jewelry?

Wise people are easy to correct. 

In fact wise people treasure correction so highly that they will pay for it. 

Fools make others pay for giving them the gift of correction.

Why should a fool have money in his hand to buy wisdom
when he has no sense?
Proverbs 17:16



3. You are the main ingredient to your marriage.

Getting healthy is about the main ingredient.

Get healthy enough to speak apples of gold.

Get healthy enough to listen like you're receiving a gift.

You'll be so glad you did.




Be kind and keep talking,
Brooke and Brian

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