Many if not most caregivers struggle with this annoying behavior.
Are You Dealing With This Problem:
Many if not most dementia caregivers struggle with this annoying behavior. Believe me, so did I with my mom.
We all know the questions are coming ...sometimes every few minutes. You should try NOT to do the following:
Lose your patience when they ask the same question over and over. They don’t remember due to their short-term memory loss. They can’t change, and would if they could.
Try to correct them when they say or do something wrong, or forget you just told them. If they could get it right or remember, they would.
Use logic on or argue with them. You won’t change their mind or behavior and you will never win the argument. Ever. Yes, think logically and talk calmly in a reassuring way.
React or respond in kind to anger or anxiety. Do try to talk softly and with little emotion. In fact, it’s OK to not respond at all. Shift their focus and anticipate a change to a better mood or to another subject.
Keep in mind that it's not personal and they probably won’t remember it later.
What question does your person living with dementia ask frequently? My mom loved movies, especially since I could no longer take her to a theater and she struggled with (or hid) Netflix discs. So she would frequently ask me: “Are there any good movies to see?”
Try doing a little improv!
Instead of getting frustrated, I would say whatever film popped in my head, no matter how recent or classic. Gone With The Wind, Butch Cassidy, Titanic, etc. This worked for many reasons and on different levels:
She was getting an answer
She didn’t know any differently
It wasn’t causing her any harm
I was keeping my sanity (and cool)
And, I was having a little laugh inside at mom’s expense.
Here are some other suggestions:
💡 Knowing repeated questions are imminent, be prepared for them. For example, they will ask over and over when they have an upcoming appointment or visitor. Instead of trying to remind them in advance and knowing they won’t remember, tell them shortly beforehand, but be sure they are ready to go: bathed, clothed, fed, toileted, etc.
💡 They are probably asking because they are bored or anxious. Have tasks, activities, or objects to keep them positively engaged or occupied. And, it doesn’t matter if they don’t do it correctly or the same as you would. Let it go if no harm is done.
Regardless, it’s OK. You are doing the best you can.
Remember, you don’t have to go it alone. Let me be your coordinator and allow my team of professionals and service providers serve you.I can advise and support you by phone, email, text, or videoconferencing:
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