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A text from my mom

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Hello, and holy shit what a week.
 
Does anyone else feel like ev.er.y.thing. happened this week?

My best friend had a baby—shoutout Eli !!—my parent's 10lb dog ran away and survived in the desert for 5 (!!) days before being found, and we as a society discovered the voice of our generation, Charlotte Awbery (more on that later).

And in the midst of it all, my mom texted me to let me know that Girl Scout cookies are simply not worth the price. Filipino moms hate nothing more than getting a bad deal, and it is hilarious to me to think of her eating these cookies while simultaneously being kinda annoyed about it. 

Thanks to Girl Scouts, for robbing my mom blind thus giving me something to laugh about, and to you, for being here ❤️now onto the internet things! 

Some good things

The First Wives Club
You guys, this may be the best thing I've read all week. Bette, Diane, and Goldie are reuniting (!!) for a movie about "three women who are forced to spend the holidays together after the man they were all once married to drops dead." 

Honestly...Christmas, a dead husband, and THE First Wives Club back 2gether at last? I smell an Oscar.
Harry Styles covering Joni Mitchell
Can't stop listening to Harry Styles covering Joni Mitchell. Also Harry covering Lizzo. And Lizzo covering Harry
Charlotte Awbery
Whooo is this woman with the impeccable Farrah Fawcett blowout (in a subway station of all places) singing 'Shallow'? CHARLOTTE AWBERY.

My favorite comment on this thread: "Lady Gaga has 5 days to respond or the song now belongs to Charlotte."
KFC is doing donuts
Would you eat KFC chicken and donuts, Y/N? Ya girl used to love a Famous Bowl and tbh am very down for this combination, which will be available nationwide from 2/24 to 3/16.

Some funny things

A cat in a hat
Really was not expecting what I saw in the last 7 seconds of this video but am very, very glad that I did. 
Elizabeth Warren's diss track
Elizabeth Warren's diss track came at exactly.the.right.time. I will fully admit that I had given up on her after Iowa and New Hampshire, but I think she is pulling me back in after this week's debate 😬
Miley Cyrus x Elizabeth Warren
Also, this.
Thank you to Hillary for bringing this Kimye post to my attention.

It immediately took me back to working as a server in college—me and my best friend would go out the night before payday, open up a bar tab, and have to wait until midnight for the direct deposit to hit to close our tabs. Complete genius, or just idiotic 
¯\_(ヅ)_/¯ ??

Some important things

Printing money
Speaking of payday...

If you're in the mood to have your soul crushed by seeing how *slowly* you earn money in comparison to say, a Fortune 500 CEO or Amazon's hourly revenue, well now you can do that with this extremely depressing data visualization
Gates Foundation
(Good things Bill Gates' hourly wasn't included on the above site otherwise I may have not have wanted to read his long ass Annual Letter.)

In said long ass letter, Bill and Melinda highlight the Gates Foundations' wins in global health, and point out the work that still needs to be done regarding education in the US and gender inequality worldwide. 

"Even though women in the U.S. earn college and graduate degrees at higher rates than men, they are often channeled into less lucrative jobs. Men are 70 percent more likely to be executives than women of the same age."

If you're not in the mood to read a long ass letter (don't blame you, it sat as an open tab in my browser for 10 days lol), try Inside Bill's Brain on Netflix or Melinda's book, The Moment of Lift, instead. Both v v good. 
Here is a (very) comprehensive guide for configuring your phone to help you be less distracted and more productive/focused.

Tldr, your phone notis are giving you anxiety which in turn is increasing your mortality by 20%. The author gives some good tips—these are the ones I implemented for myself: 
  • Turn off (almost) all notifications
  • Hide messaging apps, including email and Slack (!!) on the 2nd page
  • Use Do Not Disturb during the day, when you need to get shit done

Still here?

...I now grant you permission to get off your phone 🙃

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