I started this newsletter six months ago. With my word of the year, I like to take a moment half way through the year to take stock of where I’ve been. That feels like a good thing to do here as well, so let’s take a look back over the past six months…
Each month I choose a theme based on the topics I find to be important as I navigate learning to live a good, full life in the midst of infertility. So far we’ve talked about:
Trusting Your Body
Trusting Your Feelings
Paying Attention to Expectations
Creating New Traditions
That’s quite a lot of ground we’ve covered together over the last six months! I suspect all that talk of trust last fall was part of my inclination to choose it as my word for 2020. Which topic resonated with you? (Hit reply and let me know!)
One thing I’ve learned on this 3+ year infertility journey is that it is winding and often circles back on itself. Just when I think I’ve gotten one thing figured out, I realize I still have a lot more to learn.
I practice trusting my body by walking the dogs and training for races, but when I find myself completely worn out, I am reminded that rest is an important part of trusting my body too. Sometimes I push my body too hard, trying to prove that I am capable despite an infertility diagnosis. I practice trusting my feelings by journaling and talking with friends, but when I start sobbing during a TV show, I realize that the feelings run deep and I can’t always control when and where feelings will appear.
I pay attention to my expectations, doing my best not to be attached to the outcome, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be hurt by whatever the outcome may be. I’m human and it’s normal to be disappointed. I believe creating new traditions is important as a family without children, but there are still times I feel left out of the typical events that families with children host.
I practice gratitude every single day, but I still grumble and complain about my life circumstances occasionally. I trust that winter has a lot to teach me, but I really struggle on those dark nights and dreary days.
Each one of these topics provides enough practice to last me a lifetime! As someone who likes to check off a to-do list, I am reminding myself that these practices will always be a part of my life—whether I like it or not!
I like the word practice — it reminds me that I’m not an expert, that there is always more to learn. What are you practicing these days as you learn to live a good, full life in the midst of infertility?