Are you like the millions of other people who make New Year’s Resolutions every year?
You can see yourself so clearly hitting the gym like “The Rock”, meditating like a monk, and cooking gourmet meals without breaking a sweat. However, within a week you are back to the reality of dirty dishes in the sink, piles of clothes on the floor, and trying to figure out if you can wash your hair with hand soap in the office bathroom because you didn’t have time to shower… again.
Planning and dreaming is fun and stimulating, and people with ADHD often fall into this trap. Why do we struggle like this? We tend to have a hard time estimating how long things will take, which leads to impulsive decisions, overcommitting, burnout, guilt, shame, and ultimately self-hatred (welcome the new year). When planning for the future, we tend to project an ideal future version of themselves executing these grand plans. However, every day there are distractions, and the temptation to procrastinate. I’ll start the resolution tomorrow, because tomorrow me will be better.
The reality is that tomorrow will feel exactly the same as today.
So what can we do? As counter-intuitive as it sounds, when you are planning to make a change, plan to fail… because eventually you will. You will wake up and realize you haven’t been to the gym in a month, and your dishes are piled up. The downward spiral has started and your negative self-talk will lead you to want to give up. At that point you need a Restart Plan.
For a step-by-step guide on how to make a Restart Plan go to the ‘ADDing to your Toolbox’ section of this newsletter!
Today, no seriously go and get a pen, sit down follow the steps in the Toolbox. Put your Restart Plan in a safe place that you will remember or give it to a loved one. Remember to ask for help if you need it, because together we can thrive not just survive!
~ Sandy Slade
We had two meetings in December which were well attended. Welcome to the new people who came by! Our weekly support group had some excellent conversations about dealing with holiday stress, emotional regulation and medication side effects.
ADHD PEI was pretty quiet otherwise, allowing everyone to have time and space to manage their holiday plans (and the resulting stress).
WEDNESDAY ADULT ADHD SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS
The January 8th meeting was cancelled due to severe weather.
Meetings this month:
- Wed, January 15th
- Wed, January 22nd
- Wed, January 29th
All weekly meetings take place at 178 Fitzroy Street, Charlottetown from 7:30pm to 9:00pm. Cancellations due to weather will be posted on our Facebook page. January's theme is "New Year's Resolutions and creating healthy habits".
ADHD PARENTS' GROUP
This year we hope to launch a separate support group specifically aimed toward and designed for parents of children with ADHD. If this is something that you might be interested in and you haven't already contacted us, please send an email to contact@ADHDPEI.ca.
ADDing to Your Toolbox
Here is how to craft your own New Year's Resolution Restart Plan!
Step 1:Build your Restart Plan
Write down your core motivation for undertaking the resolution in the first place
Write down three to five clear actionable steps that will help you restart the process
Give this plan to a trusted friend or put it in a safe place that you will remember
Step 2: Use your Restart Plan
Set up a reminder to check your progress
If you have stalled out, get out your Restart Plan
Grab a calming cup of tea and review your 3-5 step plan without self-judgement
DO THE STEPS!
Step 3: Review and update your Restart Plan
Reflect on what obstacles caused you to need your Restart Plan
Think of what steps you can take to overcome these obstacles
Rewrite your resolution and Restart Plan in light of what you’ve learned
How to ADHD - How to rebuild your routines when they are disrupted.
ADHD PEI maintains a list of helpful resources that includes websites, podcasts, videos, as well as information about local services. You can download the PDF here.
"New Year Resolutions" by Rick Green via TotallyADHD.com